How to Get Compliments
‘I had such a terrible day, I received far too many compliments’ - said no one ever!
Compliments are great for the soul. Think about the last time you received a compliment, close your eyes and really take yourself back to that moment.
Where were you?
Who was saying the lovely words to you?
How did you feel in that moment?
… Great, right?
Someone noticed you, heard you, and was present with you. You felt worthwhile, important and connected to that person. It’s the best feeling in the world. A natural high due to the two happiness hormones, oxytocin and dopamine that flood your system - you feel incredible in that moment!
It is a wonderful feeling and one that we can elicit in others easily by simply taking the time to say out loud the compliments that pop into your head. They happen all the time, you notice someone wearing something you makes them look great, you spot someone being really kind to someone else, you are blown away by how well someone handles objections in a meeting, you hear someone singing beautifully when they thought no one else was listening, you notice that you feel great around a particular friend - TELL THEM!
If you think something nice, say it out loud. Don’t be embarrassed or awkward, force yourself to say it out loud. You are going to make the person you are complimenting feel great. Be THAT person, be the person who always takes the time to say the lovely things that pop into your head, each of these things is a sincere compliment. Don’t make up stuff, if you don’t genuinely think it, you are likely to come across as insincere, there isn’t a need to make things up, you notice lovely things about other people all the time. And the more you become aware of noticing lovely things about people, the more things you notice, it becomes a habit to look for the great qualities in the people around you. How nice a habit is that? Go out in life looking for the good in others and you will find it, and noticing happy things will make you feel happy.
This isn’t a habit that most people have, if we modelled this behaviour all the time and consciously showed children how to do this then it would become a part of our natural behaviour as adults.
Have you ever praised a child for a good deed? Children respond brilliantly to praise and because it feels so good they tend to repeat the praised behaviour. The same principle applies to our friends and family. When you tell them that you love most about them, you inspire them to be better at whatever you highlighted that you love about them. And if you can inspire someone to be the best version of themselves, then you have fulfilled part of your life’s mission.
Encourage young children to compliment one another’s behaviours, successes, work, and appearances. They might say, “Good job Olivia.” or “I like the way you drew the picture of your cat.” When we demonstrate how great it is to give compliments in front of our children, our behaviours model a world that promotes complimenting each other. In recent years, some schools have introduced compliment circles where children can compliment each other about something that they did at school or nursery.
Compliments are a great example of prosocial communication. When you experience a behaviour in someone else that makes you feel good, you’re more likely to reciprocate and behave in a similar way with others. Giving compliments will make you popular, people want to be around the people that make them feel good.
How are giving and receiving compliments linked? The act of giving compliments creates a virtuous circle. Telling someone what you love most about them is a really powerful gift. You reinforce their value in the world and deepen your relationship in the process.
There no feeling quite like the one you get when someone says something kind to you. It’s almost as if you feel compelled to say something nice back to them - Like a reflex action. These days, listening is a dying art. But the amazing thing is when you start a conversation with someone about what you love them, they will definitely listen. I mean - who wants to miss a word about how spectacular someone thinks they are?
Spend quality time with someone you care about. No phones, no distractions. Just talk to them, tell them what you love most about them and really listen - you will probably hear something amazing back.
Have you ever felt great just watching someone perform an act of kindness? That feeling is called moral elevation and it helps to explain why kindness is contagious. The simple act of telling someone what you love about them encourages others to copy your behaviour. There are many studies demonstrating that this natural high makes people want to behave more altruistically. Don’t believe it? Try it for yourself. Develop a habit to be a source of positivity and happiness in the lives of others. I promise, all those good vibes you give out will come right back to you.
And if you want a hand, choose from one of the beautiful wordings in the Theta Jewellery with meaning 'Share Your Three' range.
Telling people what you love most about them is a total win-win!
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